July 18th, 2019

I must admit, it's a lot harder to post daily than I originally anticipated. I'm writing this article at almost 9:30 at night only because my son is asleep & I'm not as exhausted as I usually am. He will be 6 months tomorrow which is hard for me to process. I feel like I just had him yesterday. He's so small & yet so big all at once. He gives me a sense of purpose I didn't have before. I wasn't a bad kid when I was younger. I never came home drunk or high or Lord forbid pregnant. I think that's a combination of respect for my parents, fear of an ass beating, & not wanting to disappoint them. Now that I'm a mom it's somewhat like that. Like he's watching so you better get it together you know? I mess up, I get frustrated, & sometimes I fall. I'm only human. I want my kids to see the best version of me. He's the reason I decided to FINALLY go back to school guys. I for whatever reason didn't do it for myself but I WILL for him. So, that he'll see its never too late but also so that he'll want to out do me & not have to go back to college 6 years later. I kick myself in the butt for dropping out sometimes. I could've had at LEAST a bachelors degree by now. I have 4 years until my 10 year high school reunion which means I have less than 4 years to get it together. Wish me luck! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSxUZQ9thpKxy6jk6adP0WQ

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